Customized Diana Directive Articles

Diana Directive, a Pharmacy Tech

October 13, 2010

My name is Diana Directive. I am a 22-y-o pharmacy tech in Cleveland, Ohio. Let's just say... I have had a number of jobs and am MISUNDERSTOOD a lot. I was a receptionist and a dental hygienist, but I really like this job, even though it isn't my real passion... You see, my true calling is to spend my time looking at myself in the mirror and shopping...particularly for shoes... You could say I have a fetish. Anyways, I wanted to tell you about an experience I had at work last week... as it made me stop and "think". That is always a S-C-A-R-Y thing.

It was a Monday or maybe a Tuesday. I am not really good with dates. But don't worry; we have a system of checks and balances so I don't screw that up at the pharmacy. Phil, one of my regulars, showed up and dropped off his prescription. I swear I see him every week. What does he do... go doctor shopping? Maybe he just wants to make up reasons to come visit ME!!! Yes, that seems to happen a lot when you are 22 and look as good as I do. I know I am not supposed to say that out loud, but it is the truth!! Well, Phil arrives and I am busy checking his prescription in the computer to see if the claim will be accepted. It is for V-I-A-G-R-A... I swear I just filled that prescription for him last week...could he be double dosing it?

Phil tends to treat the pharmacy like his own personal McDonalds. He wants his prescription in 5 minutes or less. Doesn't he realize that we have his... LIFE... in our hands? We actually average a 15 minute wait time, which isn't bad. Phil drops his prescription off and immediately goes to the pickup area. "Is my prescription ready?" Ya know... most men just sit in the little waiting area pretending to read a magazine while they watch me count the pills and handle phone calls. Phil isn't like MOST men. But, I sent him back to the waiting area.

It was lunch time, so I left to take my 1/2 hour lunch. Upon my return, I see the pharmacy... locked up. I start banging on the gate, but no one answers. Where is the pharmacist? I can't be in there without him. This isn't good... Phil pops around the corner and says, "The pharmacist closed shop right after you left for lunch". Hey, I need these hours to be paid. After all, I have my eyes on a new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes in smoking blue suede! They aren't cheap! Where is he? I start to worry. Could something have happened to him? He never takes a lunch. He isn't allowed to... There must be a pharmacist on duty to have the pharmacy open.

My mind starts telling me something bad has happened. Could he have gone out to get something in his car and got into an accident? Could he be in the emergency room right at this very minute hooked to a breathing machine? Is he even conscious? I start to think about what if that happened to me. No, things like that don't happen to BEAUTIFUL people. Right? I don't know what I would do... If it came down to it, would I want to be kept alive on a machine? Maybe if they gave free Botox injections with it.

The pharmacist just showed up. Hallelujah! I will get paid. If he didn't show up I would have been sent home or worse... forced to work... in the front of the store. Ugh, I hate doing that.

I should probably talk to someone about if something bad happened to me. I heard about a website www.discussdirectives.com where I can go to ask questions. I can even download a free Living Will and Power of Attorney for Healthcare. I am going to do that and then start a journal which I can publish next month in this magazine. Maybe together we can figure this stuff out. I don't want to do it alone... OH NO!!!!! Phil is starting to act up... again. I better make sure he gets his prescription fast. He isn't a patient man... Maybe that is it...maybe that's why he uses... the Viagra.

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